Breakfast: Oatmeal with cranberry and pepitas.
Snack: Green Monster Shake.
Lunch: Salad, lentil walnut tacos which were soooooo flavorful, I actually preferred them to meat tacos. http://ohsheglows.com/2014/06/17/ultimate-green-taco-wraps-with-lentil-walnut-taco-meat-vegan-gluten-free/
Snack: Grapes, granola.
Dinner: Lentil walnut taco "meat" turned into a burrito with quinoa brown rice, black beans, sautéed onions and peppers, and vegan sour cream from the above recipe. I am starting to believe I could happily eat like this 95% of the time. The kids were eating leftover pizza from the party yesterday, and I was not even remotely interested in what they had.
Exercise: 45 minute walk

I went out and treated myself to some pretty sweaters and accessories today. My clothes just aren't fitting right, and even though I am hoping to lose weight, I don't want to feel like 10 lbs. of sausage in a 5 lb. casing in the meantime. There is something so encouraging about looking nice. I feel like if I look put together, I act more together, and life just starts seeming smoother. I know it is sheerly mental, but there is nothing wrong with a boost from any corner.

Gotta love bloat

i woke up this morning to discover a whopping 5 lb loss in 24 hours. At this rate, I'm about 10 days away from my goal weight :-) Since we're already talking numbers, lets continue. I dread writing this, and I debated not, but no one is really reading this anyhow, and even if someone who knows me is secretly reading, it isn't exactly going to come as a shock that I am overweight. So, numbers. Thanks to the steroids, and of course, loving food, I began New Year's Day at 200 lbs even. Today I am down to 195. My goal is 150-160 depending on how I feel. I would like to reach a weight that is sustainable, not a constant struggle. Now that's out there, and I don't really know how I feel about sharing it, but at least it represents doing things a different way than I've done in the last 36 years.

Breakfast: Oatmeal with cranberries and pepitas.
Snack: Green Monster Shake.
Lunch: Salad, small cup of potato and leek soup from the Thug Kitchen cookbook.
Snack: Every time I started to eat something, it was absconded with by a toddler. I had a few bites of apple, some carrot sticks, and almost half of a granola bar.
Dinner: Two slices of pizza and a cookie. Darn these family parties, forcing me to eat the food I would definitely prefer to be eating :-D
Snack: Grapes.

Exercise: stationary bike  x 30 minutes

Vegan plus pizza?

Vegan plus pizza? Could that be a thing? That's what I managed to do today. One slice of pizza with lunch, while visiting family, but aside from that, the day was strictly vegan, and surprisingly tasty. We've been trying to find at least a handful of vegan recipes that leave us feeling as though we've eaten real food, and we had really good luck today.

For breakfast, this super easy oatmeal -  http://ohsheglows.com/2014/11/17/5-minute-oatmeal-power-bowl/

For snack, a Green Monster Shake http://ohsheglows.com/2011/01/13/classic-green-monster/
This, by the way, is becoming my go to website for recipes, along with the Thug Kitchen cookbook.

Lunch was the aforementioned pizza, which I just can't be sorry about eating. When everyone else in the room is eating pizza, I hope I can always find a way to maintain enough balance to be able to eat that slice or two without feeling either guilty, or game on to eat ALL THE FOOD.

For dinner, I kind of adapted a BlueApron.com recipe that neither one of us were wild about in its original incantation; a black rice and barley combo stuffed in an onion and roasted http://www.blueapron.com/recipes/roasted-onions-stuffed-wild-rice-barley-brussels-sprouts-hazelnuts-feta

The flavors were sort of there, but we didn't love the textures, and some of the ingredients didn't seem to blend together. That has been our experience with almost every meal we've tried from Blue Apron, but I'll write a full review one of these days. Anyhow, in my redux, i cooked barley and black rice according to their package instructions, but left them slightly undercooked. About a half cup of each, raw, is what I used. While the rice and barley were cooking, I minced an onion, 4 cloves of garlic, and shredded six brussels sprouts. Over medium heat, I added about a tbsp of olive oil, then the onions. Stirring occasionally, once the onions were slightly browned, I added the garlic and about a minute later, the brussels sprouts. I tossed in some salt and pepper, and stirred occasionally until the whole thing was well bronzed.  I mixed in the rice and barley, and threw the whole shebang into a roasting pan to crisp up in the oven at 400. We liked it almost burnt, which took about 45 minutes, but the flavors were singing 30 minutes in. I served it with roasted cauliflower, and it was a really substantial winter dinner that suited two very different palates.

And no, the girls wanted no part of this meal. They were intrigued by the cauliflower, and gamely tasted it, but one of them commented that she thought a flower would taste better.

Happy New Year's Eve!

What a shockingly nice day this was! I may not have made any (seriously, none whatsoever) healthy choices, but this was exactly the kind of day I needed to feel like I have a little bit of control. I got to sleep in a bit, took the girls out to lunch with friends, both mine and theirs, and took the dogs for a long but leisurely stroll without the kids demanding to go home. Now, it is long since bedtime for those same kids, and Steve is out picking us up some Chinese food. We may not stay up until midnight, but the fact that we're planning on watching Downton Abbey (his choice, I swear) does not make us any less cool. Ok, it does. Whatever.

I hope this is an indication that the new year is going to bring with it some peace and joy, as that is what today was filled with. Happy New Year's!

Oh Whole Foods

I'm not a dumb person, but perhaps it is time to admit that I am a sucker for the allure of Whole Foods. Maybe it is the adrenaline rush from surviving the parking lot (aka the most dangerous place on Earth) but just stepping foot into the store makes me feel like the kind of person who happily eats quinoa stir fry for dinner. I smugly fill my twee little cart with fresh produce, and quinoa of course, and check out a few hundred dollars lighter. But that's ok, because, health! Once home, I wonder what the hell I am meant to be making with all these leafy green things?

So far so good today. Oatmeal for breakfast, a Green Monster shake for lunch, and I'm about to drag the family and dogs out into the freezing cold for a hike. Thanks Whole Foods for making me believe that today, at least, I can.

Universe, are you joking?

It seems like this happens every time I try to get my weight/exercise habits/eating habits back on track; some random but somewhat debilitating health issue pops up, and I am back in a comfort eating rut. A few months ago, when finally feeling like my knee was ready to start exercising, and when I had the energy to start cooking again, I had impacted, infected wisdom teeth that had to come out. No big deal, until I also developed a locked jaw and throat infections post-op that consumed the month of November.

Finally, healthy again and ready to roll, the kids and I were brought down by some kind of never ending respiratory bug. No big deal, it happens every winter. But this cold brought me a special gift. I've been deaf in my right ear since birth, which has never really bothered me. But in the midst of this cold, I developed something called bullous myrngitis, which is blisters behind the ear drums, and rarely accompanied by neurological hearing loss. I lost a good chunk of the hearing in my good ear, and am now on steroids and antibiotics trying to get my hearing back. We'll know in a few weeks how much loss will be permanent, and whether or not I need a hearing aid.

I am trying very hard not to let this get me down. This is far from the end of the world, but I am also only human, and I am feeling like I would just like to catch a break. I don't want to be a "sickly" person, who is always whining about her health, so most people don't have any idea about any of this.

Since exercise is again on hiatus until the pressure in my ear recedes, I am left with trying to manage the comfort eating I so crave, which is being seriously spurred on by the huge dose of steroids I am on. I've gained 10 lbs of water weight in the past week since this happened. That is pretty hard to swallow too, and makes me feel like I don't have a lot of control right now.

I'd like to make some bold, strong statement about making positive life changes in the midst of this uncertainty, but honestly, I just can't. Not today. Maybe tomorrow.

So bad. So very bad.

Well, I did exactly what I swore not to do. I gave up, and I wasn't honest about it. Life got real, and I could blame that, but no, it was me doing the same thing I've always done, and that sucks. Now I am even heavier than when I began this blog, and I am pretty disappointed about that. The GREAT news is that my knee is finally feeling usable, so now I will begin this journey yet again, but this time, I will do so with the ability to exercise at least somewhat.

New starting weight: 194.
Attitude: overwhelmed.